penn celebrity apprentice.jpg

Slate has run an excerpt from Penn Jillette’s new book Every Day is an Atheist Holiday where the larger and louder half of Penn & Teller unloads on Celebrity Apprentice, reality television in general, Clay Aiken and specifically Donald Trump.

On the relative difficulty of Celebrity Apprentice:

“The Celebrity Apprentice” is easy like junior high is easy. All the arithmetic, the creative writing and the history are super simple, but like junior high, you do that easy work surrounded by people who are full-tilt hormone-raging bugnutty. Everyone is panicked, desperate, yelling, swearing, attacking, backstabbing, failing to get laid and acting crazy. With all this drama, any sane person just wants to do more algebra. “The Celebrity Apprentice” is junior high with a better brand of acne cover-up.

On why Celebrity Apprentice is more honest than Dancing With The Stars:

“The Celebrity Apprentice” is more honest, in that creepy kind of way that the guy who admits he’s a racist is more honest. It doesn’t pretend to be about something beautiful like dance.

On getting a heart to heart talk from Clay Aiken:

If you’ve gotten yourself into a situation when Clay Aiken is going to talk about his feelings with you, it’s time to kill yourself.

And, of course, Trump:

When he was into his free-form rants in front of a captive audience, he would talk about articles written about him and defend himself against charges made, as far as I could tell, by random bloggers with a few hundred hits. Attacks that could have no impact on his life at all. It sounded like this cat was Googling himself, being bugged by what was written, and then defending himself to people who were trying to improve their careers by playing a TV game with him.

It should be noted that the disclosures in the book should do plenty to stoke interest in Penn’s return to “the boardroom” in Celebrity Apprentice: All Stars which just wrapped filming. And as should always be noted, Every Day is an Atheist Holiday is available now and makes a great stocking stuffer for Chri… well… today I guess.