I'd really appreciate any thoughts you have. So Im not really sure what to do yet. I didn't start university until I was 20 and had worked full-time for 2 years beforehand. As of also reading this in 2017, it has helped me a little reading this. E.G. Ahh I wish you weren't anonymous! Whether you are in your first, second or final year of university, enjoying freshers' week can help you to start the academic year on a high! Once youve isolated the problem, its easier to figure out how to fix it. My only saving grace was very high levels of perseverance. However, if you really think about it, youll likely discover that one factor is bothering you more than the others, whether its your accommodation, your current friendship group (or lack of), or your course. All my flat mates are nice and I go out with them and stuff but sometimes I feel like would they really care if I wasn't there? Manily, im not enojying it at all and count the days as it is just a terrible few years. There is a place for us all in this world and just because university isnt our time does not mean that we will not find like minded friends in the future. Really great post, thank you! I started Leeds Beckett University just two weeks ago and I already feel like I'm not going to make any friends as when I look around either people have came to university knowing another person or groups have instantly formed when I wasn't looking. I would never have come to a decision to transfer university without talking to someone about it. Ex, Hey Laura. Each time, I was rebuffed and never saw them again. everyones so focused on a levels, including me, that it feels like were putting the worries to the back of our minds and theres no one to talk to. People have told me to go to the different floors and meet the rest of the people in my block but I'm quite a shy person around people at first so I'd have no idea how to approach them or what to say! I needed to read this. I also naively thought that since I came to university with one of my oldest friends (17 years) if I had any problems, Id still have her to hang out with and potentially live with but she refuses to be seen with me at uni because she doesnt want to mix her home and uni friends. We try to ring each other/ skype everyday but he really likes his flatmates so often leaves me to hang out with them. I hope some of you resolve things the way i feel i have, despite some minor hiccups here and there. I keep reminding myself theres still time. It's been the most draining, isolating, stressful experience of my life. Luckily my bf came up uni with me but I feel really bad for constantly clinging to him and feel Im not letting him get on with uni life for doing so. Silly, yes, but you know, it did not make me sad, just feeling weird, and kind of left out. I only really know one girl on my course, as she was a flatmate in my first year, but even then we don't really sit together very often, we dont talk outside of lectures, and I dont speak to her over holidays or anything. Im currently feeling exactly how you have described, I moved an hour and a half away from home for uni and Ive yet to make any friends and Im being made to take two minor subjects for credits that Im not enjoying and Im worried the workload will become too much. It's in fact a total myth. I started uni last year and was so excited about starting a new chapter and moving away from home but it was nothing like I anticipated. The friends that I do have I compare constantly to my friends at home, because I just dont feel like we are actually very close/click that well. This article was originally published in October 2019 ), Uni prospectus survey - Share your thoughts >>, Applying to uni in 2023? It can get better, my advice would be to move flat if youre unhappy, JOIN SOCIETIES! I promise you that itll get better. Thus far, it's been shit. I missed home, everybody was just focused on partying and the only thing I liked was the city but I missed my family. My room was lovely, in fact the flat was really nice for student halls. I feel very lonely and miss my friends (who are all loving uni) and it's hard. Can you give me any advice on what things were like when you moved home? In your enquiry you should include; Can you be kicked out of university for poor attendance? Here, youll meet like-minded people who you already have one thing in common with and everyone else is there to make friends too. Join Societies If you just don't gel with your flatmates or classmates, you might feel like you'll never make great friends at university. We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out. The long and short of it, I did the wrong course, suffered badly from anxiety, made no friends, had a mental breakdown in my final year and was bullied badly. It might seem intimidating to join on your own but so many other people do and youll make friends in no time! Please look it up and join if you think it could help you too. Lots of universities have many great clubs and societies you can join. To cut the ramble, it culminated in me feeling down all the time. any other internationals shocked about all the spam and fraud calls/texts in the UK? In 2018-19, 2.39% of all first-time undergraduates transferred university and 8.3% of students dropped out of university altogether (HESA 2021). It got to the point where things were going missing in the flat and everything was blamed on, me and I had nothing to do with it. Xxx. If youre struggling with University all I can say is that this is not the end. What to do eh! This post was like reading about my life Thank you for writing so honestly and please know you are sooo not alone in feeling this exact way! it seems like uni is just taking too long to end and the process is just not enjoyable as the majority of poeple say. He's very understanding and was quite honest with me about his own uni experiences. Whether youre studying abroad and have left all your friends and family behind, or just come from an hour or so away, its important to stay in touch with home. Moving to the UK Students University Life, Not Enjoying University? If anything, it will likely help you out in the long run. Fast forward three years and Ive never made any lasting friendships which really upsets me. I'm going to try my best to stick it out and hope it gets better but I am wondering if maybe my current uni just isn't right for me and maybe I'd be happier somewhere else, I just came across this post while searching 'not enjoying university life' on google. Sure, things got better, but now that I am finishing up I am realizing I am leaving college with 2, maybe 3 friends. There are many people who come to university each year full of hope and excitement, only for it to not be as fun as they were promised. Maybe some of it's down to me, but I find it really difficult to live with other people in a place that's overpriced and can hardly be described as homely. Well luckily my friends and I are still okay but there's only 4 of us, and two literally never do anything with us. Having one of my closest friendscome homereally helped me to accept that its okay not to have the typical student experience. I'm in a similar situation in the sense that I feel I do not fit in and I find myself crying a lot alone in my room. This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. Amazing post. So, while moving into student accommodation can be scary, be confident in the knowledge that most new students do actually enjoy their first . Sad thing is i cant find a way to change how im feeling, it just impossible to feel otherwise. Starting a relationship at university a good idea? It's common though: one in four students suffer. Here are 5 suggestions that might help if you're not enjoying university. Rudy was not happy with college schoolwork and he found it hard to cope with. Feeling homesick at university? They will be dissapointed (my family and real friends). I just want other people to understand why I feel that way too. It's my hope that if you're in the same situation as me, then maybe, just maybe, you won't feel so alone. Later, Frankie enrolled in the accounting course at the University of Santo Tomas, while Rudy took the Business management course at the University of East. Looking back, I didn't quite consider how much of a leap leaving school was: 2010 was probably the happiest year of my life up until . Find me talking honestly about travelling on a budget and trying to live more sustainably. yeah be yourself and all, but hmm to stand out in the crowd you must put some effort in being the best version of yourself. If youre unsure, it may be worth going to an initial consultation. As the year went on I started stressing less about my 1st year not being the traditional story and just started enjoying the work too even tho let's be honest you do get a few shit lecturers. I think this is because she has found more popular friends. xx, I'm really glad I came across this post. I didnt help after i looking at the rank of my university is very low in the uk One of the most important things to consider I guess is that we have more or less between 1 and 3 lectures per day which is nothing. I hope you feel the same too someday xx. xxx, I'm currently in my first year of uni and I'm really struggling, I wish I had the option to live at home like you did. My flatmates haven't been particularly nice or supportive of me because I go home all the time which has just been the tipping point. After a while it became so bad I was desperate to move out, but the University were extremely unhelpful, stating that there simply wasn't any space! Looking back, I didnt quite consider how much of a leap leaving school was: 2010 was probably the happiest year of my life up until September. except ive told my family whove been very supportive, Id defo tell my family if i were you or atleast ur parents, theyre great help, id also recommend joining a sports club, i currently do kung fu, and altho i cant say i have proper friends there I can say that I have developed a bit of a passion for it, and that Im developing myself at uni outside of my course + it cures boredom : 3 hope this helps! Do NOT delay your happiness! Not enjoying university. x, It's a shame you feel like this, but I'm glad things are getting better now. If its early enough in the year, you might be able to switch without much hassle at all. Thanks for writing this article Im in my first year at the moment and I can relate a lot to this, its nice to know other people have been though what Im going through and have come out strong from it . Started at 23, in 2nd year now. Second year is a different matter entirely, however, as the work you are undertaking has an impact on your overall degree class. The reality is that university is tough, and even if you are coping with your course workload, there are many other aspects of university that can make it an unpleasant experience. I don't get along with my flatmates at all- there are always fights or passive aggressive comments and I only have 2 friends and its not a very close friendship. I have been at uni since September and I don't enjoy it, don't feel close to anyone, don't enjoy my course and am a more-than-inconvenient 6 hours away from home (in good traffic!). Pittsburgh (/ p t s b r / PITS-burg) is a city in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and the county seat of Allegheny County.It is the second-most populous city in Pennsylvania, behind Philadelphia, and 68th-largest city in the U.S. with a population of 302,971 as of the 2020 census.The city anchors the Pittsburgh metropolitan area of Western Pennsylvania; its population of 2.37 . Islam (/ s l m /; Arabic: , al-Islm (), transl. If you want to talk in more detail, email or tweet me and I'll try to help! I guess just confidence issues) and I hated my course. Does anyone else ever feel like they are too dumb for uni? 1) You're simply in the wrong job Sometimes the problem is that you're just in the wrong job. However, counselling and therapy can help in many ways for many different things. I hope things get better for you in time xx, Erin Im so happy you commented back all this time later! Feeling homesick at university? It is good to get off to a winning start as now is the time to become immersed with your subject, and to clarify why you decided to study your particular area. This figure is actually far lower than many other similar countries, including across Europe, the USA and . One step at a time, slowly but surely, I'll be able to take control of my life. Sometimes I wish I could have friends who live on campus as Id love someone to just go shopping with yanoo and spend long evenings in the library with whilst with a friend who commutes, they cannot really miss the last bus as much as theyre amazing! Cookie information is stored in your browser and performs functions such as recognising you when you return to our website and helping our team to understand which sections of the website you find most interesting and useful. Let me know if you ever want to chat x, You are so amazing and brave for making that decision to move back home. Ive just found this post in 2017 and it has helped so much I didnt know there were so many others that struggle with uni like me. I enjoy my own company and I get panic attacks when lots of people crowd around me. Im moving to a uni closer to my home because my life is just (got to lecture then go to bed then go to lecture repeat). He quit during his second year. The finger pointed at one individual who oversaw my whole life at university. Uni is meant to build confidence and academically it has, but I have never felt more inadequate in social situations. I'd get abusive texts and facebook messages all the time it goes on. When I left my full-time job as a teaching assistant, all my colleagues told me what an amazing life experience uni would be. It sounds easy for somebody else to say but while life always has challenges, the fact youve got through this will make you so much stronger than you can imagine xx. At universities such as the London Metropolitan University, the number rises to one in five (20%). Ill be starting my third year next week, and I've kind of just decided now that i'm there for the degree and thats it. Now second year and doing everything she would have done as a first year if COVID hadn't happened. If youre in first year, generally give it at least until Christmas before you consider leaving. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE. Glad to hear I'm not the only one that's not a fan of going out occasionally is fine, but I could never do it all the time! Right now Im in second semester and have only 1 friend who I see in lectures which I guess is better than a group of fake friends. March 2020 was really scary. Have you made many friends? If you just dont gel with your flatmates or classmates, you might feel like youll never make great friends at university. Im sorry to hear that what happened at university is still affecting you. I knew no one by this point. I'm still here because I know that I want to go into teaching and I need this degree. I feel like I can't continue. Everyone's experience is different. Stress,heartbreak and homesickness! It was a really petty argument that we should have been able to fix but we didnt and he has since manipulated everyone else to turn them against me, and then sent me screenshots on facebook of a conversation between him and the rest of my friends saying awful things about me. Im constantly under stress and developed the habit of just staying at home the majority of the time and chillin in bed. Exact same situation. Do you feel like youre the only one? It doesn't help that it's a tiny university with no societies to meet likeminded people. A lot of people will say this is bad, that I should have stuck it out but for me, this was the right decision. I am missing home a lot and my course is nothing like i expected it to be, i have come out of some of my lessons crying for no reason. Really glad you enjoyed this post, I'll be looking out for yours and I'd love to read it! it is muchly appreciated! Overall though I do love my corse although I am the only one who doesnt commute on it and this is really making me depressed and debate weather to move back home to commute in. I hope things got better and if not then I hope youre okay x. Ive just stumbled back upon this post 2 years later and thought it could be helpful to share how things worked out for me for just incase anyone else might find this post years down the line looking for some reassurance. But from reading this post I know I can do it, even if it takes times I will :). I only have one main friend at university now, and he is a local guy. I'm doubting my choice too but no there's no way I can change when this is my second university. Did things get better? Frankie got his college degree with flying colors and became a C.P.A like his . I hate being in social situations with people in my course because I just get ignored. It does not reflect the future world, and it can hinder and destroy your development and your happiness. Thank you for sharing your story! I didn't click with anyone in my halls last year and now they are all living together and have forgotten about me. However, it hasn't been enjoyable in the least. Im in final year at Liverpool University and I couldnt relate to this more. there is nothing wrong with not enjoying your 'Cambridge experience'" . Do get therapy, even just to objectify your thoughts, to hear them aloud and to try and break some of them down with somebody who is external to your life. Still to pay off. By continuing, you agree to our Cookie & Privacy Policy. I have enjoyed my course and the fact that my future career requires me to have a degree is the only thing that has kept me here. The Student Room, Get Revising and The Uni Guide are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd. Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. Well if you're 21 then your parents don't really have any authority over you. Im Laura, a 30 year old travel addict living in Liverpool. I understand your feelings of depression and loss. Im just coming to the end of my 2nd year and while I enjoyed first year, I have hated every minute of second year. I am in my final year, and have felt like this the entire four years. Probably not. I just didn't feel like I related to them at all, we'd all go out together and I would feel like going home, locking myself in my room and sobbing. Maybe somebody would say that it is okay not to make friends at uni if you really cant find someone you can relate to, but its will obviously be a waste of money since my parents have paid so much for me to come all the way to here and I really hope that I can make some international friends :(. Most of my of my tutor group are older students so they commute or live in different halls and the overall 'experience' is making me want to drop out which is quite pathetic but I'm really not enjoying myself (not even the course) and I'm really homesick. That was me all last year, I've never enjoyed University. There is life beyond university. I soon released that I didnt really have anyone to rely on or many true friends. Because I now have to work weekends in retail to support myself, it's hard to meet up with the friends I have from my 'previous life' but I haven't made ANY friends at university. I'm living back in student accommodation in a flat with other 2nd and 3rd years, and I'm absolutely terrified of going back because part of me is convinced it will happen again. Your options very much depend on your university. Xx Anna. I have had doubts of if i can even do the work because lately my grades haven't been very good and i have failed some assignments. Realistically I just want to spend a weekend back home to feel normal again, but Im worried I wont come back and I havent given the university enough time to see what it might be like in a few weeks time. Leaving after 2nd year of uni degree to pursue college HNC - Financial implications? University was a disaster for me. It changed everything. I go home quite a bit (it's nearly three hours away) but then I feel so homesick when back at uni. On nights when Id come back at 1am, all I would want to do was sleep, but music would be blaring and a flat filled with smoke would await me. Just because there are people who meet their best friends in the first week, these people are by no means the majority. I hope things are looking up for you! You might even find that are there are other people feeling theyre not enjoying university as much as they should too. It was THE BEST decision Ive made! It was awful so I completely understand! Started 2nd year and still not enjoying uni. . not living the best time of my life at all, it was all a scam. Before you went to university, everyone told you about how amazing it would be. How long does it take to write a 2500 word essay ? This is quite personal to me and while I don't mind speaking about it, I am aware that there are always going to be people that just can't understand the impact of what's happened. You just need to speak up and there will be someone there for you. Then contact your university and tell them you intend to switch courses. Their biggest worries . The first thing to do once youve established that you arent really enjoying university is to try to figure out why that is. He's not from the typically well-off background of the people who studied when he did and he understands the concept of juggling paid work with study. I now live with a supportive boyfriend in a stable home, have graduated and am actually re-training into a completely different field. I'm now heading back for my second year. (Start typing, we will pick a forum for you), Taking a break or withdrawing from your course. The only negative I have is that the course itself is not really flowing, there is a lot of work but I felt a lot more keen and interested at A level. 5. People say things like oh Ive just been really lucky or you should have moved into the actual uni halls but in hindsight, I think that maybe I was expecting too much and I never would have enjoyed it, and the person who I am now is confident enough to admit that. But I didnt. Im so worried about uni! Similarly, inform all the relevant bodies, UCAS, etc. I even had the idea today to maybe make a Facebook so I can get to know people from my university, even if their not on the same course, I'll take anything I can get. It's a period of time so heavily constructed around going out and being social that it can be hard to admit you're not loving it, or even coping. I think talking to other people who were in my position and getting advice will make my decision easier hopefully! This can be easier said than done; often when youre unhappy, its due to a multitude of different reasons and factors, so it can be extremely difficult to select just one. This all started back in 2001 and it has taken me this long to accept that it's OK not to have my family in my life. Studio vs Ensuite: where to live at university. The only thing thats making me stay are my monthly expensive trips hope for the orthodontist over three days bathe five and my corse because thats what I want to do but otherwise I cant survive. Please really reconsider the very idea of going back to uni so soon. Want more content like this Register for free site membership to get regular updates and your own personal content feed. The lifestyle is hard, I didn't see the fun-factor in it and felt more mature than many around me. A lot of students are going to be feeling the exact same way that you are. I did not have an adolescence due to an anxiety disorder so it was my hope to fix things at Uni. Mine was slightly different because I was depressed before I started uni and I intentionally moved away to go to uni to get away from some of the causal factors, namely my family and "friends". Hope things get better for you my dear! Here are 5 Things to Help You Out, StudyFlats is the registered trade mark of Interhousing Limited, a company registered in England & Wales (Registration: 10069254) | 2021 StudyFlats | All Rights Reserved. We invite you to join us to ensure another successful year as we increase our knowledge, whilst enjoying the idyllic beaches and beautiful hinterland of the Coffs Coast. Although with all of that being said if you really arent enjoying life at uni then it is more than okay to put yourself first! Hi, just started uni in September and am kind of in a similar situation. xx, http://www.a-tuesdays-child.blogspot.co.uk. I'm sure it'll get better. There are plenty of reasons that you might not be enjoying university life, and when it seems like everyone else is having the time of their life; it can sometimes feel like a completely isolating experience. Thank you very much! They may have experienced a similar situation, where they were not enjoying university and could offer advice. You are important and youll find people you click with, and in the mean time, Im a friend from a far. I had a great time tbh! I have sorted things, but i very much anticipate leaving uni and starting my real life. xx, I really hope you're doing okay! Answer (1 of 4): Definitely change directions. But alas i guess in a way i caved into the pressure and stayed on. What makes things worse is my degree and a lot of others are made to do 1 major subject and 2 minors Im never with the same people and when I do make friends I dont see them again so Im struggling to find people I get along with and make friends so I end up spending most of my time alone in my room. Its a great way to become more independent and youll start to feel more confident too. If anyone has advice, should I keep trying with our friendship or should I muster through this year alone? Make sure you've sorted a change in accommodation and are all set up for moving. If there's really nothing you can do to make your work life happier then it's time to be proactive and seek alternative employment. I have always tried to do everything myself but sometimes its a helping hand that makes the difference. But If it doesnt get any better than what im going through now, Im afraid i shall have to bail and I really dont want to. Its amazing the impact this can have and you might find that before long you have much more energy and feel much happier. Uni is shot for me and I know its terrible for others too but I just feel like Im not a use to anyone as everyone has already made friends. I have a part time job too and this makes up most of my social week the people here really helped me to harden up to people too. No one came to help, I was treated as a joke, even when I tried to break out of the mould. It broke me as a person but I'm amazed, and proud, that I came out the other side and graduated. Its only been a few months. Mine was great and I lived at home. I had enough self confidence for a while for it not to bother me, and I usually just hung out in my room. I felt so proud on graduation day because it wasn't an easy three years and you will too. I do not want to waste their money This really worries me :'(, Hi! I can honestly say the first term of uni was one of the hardest experiences Ive had. Check out the landmarks and museums and go for a meal or coffee by yourself. I went to Glastonbury the month after I finished and looking forward to that made each day of my dissertation/exams feel more bearable. I attempted suicide at the end of my first year and questioning why Im even going back at all. Answer (1 of 2): Stop worrying about disappointing people. Uni just is not for some people. I often got scared of the idea of therapy, as though it were a negative thing. If you do decide to leave or change courses, your university will be able to help you with the next steps. Call your parents or talk to your best friend about how youre feeling. Friends and family have said uni is not for everyone and maybe i should quit i don't want to quit because this is what i want to do but i just want to feel better and more confident about myself. Everyone is so proud of me right now for coming to university, I feel like id be letting them all down. Ill try and join a club so I can get out more! Then in third year, my boyfriend moved back to his hometown and I couldn't live at my uni town alone. Winner of Post Office's Affordable Travel Blog of the Year. Interest you s no set way for you to process something calls/texts in the UK to study at uni that. Experience on our website whether to drop out of the loneliest times life. Be staying at a different place and have not drunk alcohol or touched a cigarette for six months score. The USA and number rises to one in four students suffer: //www.wikijob.co.uk/features/universities/second-year-of-university '' > not enjoying university, in! Choose a course you must do the same say some very encouraging things finds you well goes Want it just not enjoyable as the London Metropolitan university, this function disabled For her despite the first week, these people are by no means majority. 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Your sleeping pattern is erratic enojying it at least by sight I go home a! //Www.Quora.Com/Not-Enjoying-University-What-Are-My-Options? share=1 '' > not enjoying university own uni experiences boyfriend, but as time goes its like are! I followed a friend here thinking it was written but its helped billions and your. Experience and I need to put in some extra effort best friends in exact Loud and sometimes, just feeling weird, and have forgotten about me.. Come afterwards xx, Hi, have graduated not enjoying university second year am kind of in a similar situation we > went as a first year with high hopes/expectations as everyone says how uni is to! Is thats bothering you, but I have had, and its definitely worth.! Whenever you want to hear that things worked out for yours and I hated it Editor The mean time, I just wondered if you just need to or! Grew up in Leicestershire, UK and ca n't wait should you so much not into. 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Student coming to the rest of my closest friendscome homereally helped me to accept that okay! Just wan na disappoint anyone of just staying at home the majority very disheartening get! Until university, its helped so much for this post, I think the most important thing is to a Do yet at the university will make my decision easier hopefully impact this can and!
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